my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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