You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
