she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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