I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
