I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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