birth control should be required to get into college
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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