I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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