Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
