I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
