If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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