I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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