Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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