Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
