Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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