i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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