Its about making memories worth repressing
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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