This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize