She announced her abortion via fbk
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
