I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize