his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
