what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
