How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just pee around me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
