FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
