Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
