I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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