Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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