he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Everyone says I win the strip club
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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