and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have already put on my inside pants.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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