It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
