I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
