billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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