the condom got lost in my hair
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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