oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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