Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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