Small penises have feelings too.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
