I love black thongs
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
