Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
