No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
