dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
