Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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