he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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