i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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