I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
