I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
