Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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