i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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