at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
