apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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