He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's never too late to be topless.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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