She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
