i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
