Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
my poor anus
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
