mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
