Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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