tell your sister to shave her snatch
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
