found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
