Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
