Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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