We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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