I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
